Tag Archives: spice girls

The Spice Girls, Bunting and Prince Hot Ginge: It’s Britain O’Clock.

22 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by in food, music, sex on legs, sport, television, travel

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Earlier this year I made a brief sojourn “across the pond” to my native land: England. Being as this was just prior to the Diamond Jubilee I found the country on the cusp of a veritable outburst of national pride with Union Jacks a-kimbo and Coronation Chicken sandwiches prepped for all and sundry. Needless to say it left me bunting mad and borderline obsessed with Millionaire’s Shortbread.

Sidenote: Why don’t we have millionaire’s shortbread? It’s just shortbread with chocolate and caramel on top! Canada has a lot of things figured out much better than the British (showers, for example, stand out in particular) but we really need to get to work on this shortbread business.

So my summer was filled with bunting madness between the Queen’s shindig my, rather more fabulous (sorry Liz), birthday celebration: Diamond Gbilee. This quickly flowed into the Olympics which were a bit like someone slapping you in the face with a Union Jack: BRILLIANT! The highlight, somewhat obviously, for myself and apparently the twitterverse was the Spice Girls throwing on some posh frocks and spicing up all our lives from atop some bedazzled hackney cabs.

Not only did they have the performance of the night, we forever have this gif of the girls getting down as Posh poses her little heart out.

Job well done girls.

It’s almost, but not quite, as good as this gif of my friend Cheryl crumping while eating a Filet-O-Fish. HIGH PRAISE AHOY!

In a final bit of British news, photos leaked yesterday of Prince Hot Ginge with his kit off in Vegas. (The World: “PHWOARRRR!”) Let’s be honest, the only thing that could make them any better – aside from a bit of royal side peen – would be a bit of bunting hung decoratively in the background.

I take that back, a naked PHG feeding me millionaire’s shortbread while the dulcet tones of the Spice Girls filled the air would be a pretty great moment however you break it down.

Life goals 2013, perhaps?

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Miranda. Such Fun.

22 Sunday May 2011

Posted by in television

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As someone always on the cutting edge of popular culture I was rather shocked to be a whole season late to Miranda. It sort of did that slow creep thing that the BBC seems to do so effortlessly; I didn’t hear about it once during the first season and then suddenly it was everywhere when the second season premiered and I was instantly hooked.

Miranda is a sitcom for the new millennium without relying on the faux-reality style of which I am usually so fond but has gotten a little out of hand of late. The titular Miranda speaks directly to the camera – as you will see in the attached clip below – but does away with any need for context, simply conversing directly with the audience. Amazing. And just post modern enough to make you feel clever while watching a show that is largely about a woman falling over. Brilliant.

While Miranda herself is obviously fantastic the rest of the cast are also genius, particularly Miranda’s over-bearing mother Penny and best friend Stevie; the former being Miranda’s chief source of frustration and the latter being her main source of #TRUTH. There’s also Miranda’s on-again off-again love interest Gary who is – somewhat obviously given his name – gorgeous and a further assortment of merrymakers including posho Tilly and waiter Clive. Stories focus on Miranda’s life including her joke shop, dating life, and dealings with her upwardly mobile former classmates who continue to call her Queen Kong, a relic of her middle class school days.

I would say the show generally big ups the ladies and gays what with it’s focus on women and how flat out camp it is, including Stevie’s numerous references to Heather Small (see below), but that dudes can appreciate it too because it’s just so good. I do, however, say that with some restraint as I am of the opinion that intelligent straight men should at least be able to appreciate why Sex and the City is a good show even if it’s not their cup of tea. (And even further on the same tangent how I would say that if someone’s only opinion on the Spice Girls ourvre is “pop crap” then I have no interest in their musical opinion, but perhaps that is a discussion for another day.)

Conclusion: Miranda is amazing.

Best Celebrity Tweet of 2010: Sporty Spice

23 Sunday Jan 2011

Posted by in celebrity, internet, music, technology

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Those of you who know me know that I am a huge fan of the Spice Girls. Those of you who know me well may know that during the Girl Power hay day of the late 90s – those halcyon days – one Melanie Chisholm, AKA Sporty Spice, was my least favourite Spice. Back in the day, I thought Mel C tried too hard and always had those crazy eyes. Back in the day my favourite Spice was Ginge.

Oh how the times do change.

For you see today – and for a couple of years now, at least since the reunion and probably a year or two before that – those placings have switched like the poles in 2012.

Ms. Chisholm won me over with years of hard work, solid music and real personal growth. As Sporty became more sure of herself as a person, Geri seemed to go from insecurity to insecurity and what once seemed like youthful exuberance became a braying need to be the centre of attention. Even this ardent Spice Girls fan had to agree with Sporty when she worried that a reunion would affect the legacy that the Girls created. Sensible, mature and proud of her Spice Roots, the Sporty one is a poster child for the back end of pop stardom (Paul McCartney could do with taking a few pointers, wanker).

Anyway, this all brings me to my favourite celebrity tweet of 2010 by the lady herself, Melanie C. This tweet so engenders what I want from a celebrity on Twitter that I almost wondered if it came from some genius public relations guru tweeting on behalf of Sporty. It is humorous, reverent, and mocking at the same time. It is the last line in the epilogue, spoken by good old Sporty, at the end of Spice World: The Movie. This is exactly what’s amazing and Ms. Chisholm: she loves the Spice Girls just as much as you do.

Well-played Sporty Spice, well-played.

never give up on the good times

10 Wednesday Feb 2010

Posted by in movie, music

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My friend Jo-Ann and I were watching Spice World the other day (do you like how I say that passively like it was happening to us rather than saying I had been planning it for over a fortnight?) and it came to our attention that beyond being literally amazing it is also perfect for a drinking game. We were only hot hamming that night so we decided to only drink whenever Posh Spice did her point pose. I say only but needless to say we were quite drunk…

The bitch can point.

Anyway, grab yourself a gin and (slim-line) tonic or a blueberry vodka and soda and your copy of Spice World (now available on dvd. A Criterion version be that far behind, right?) and enjoy.

Drink for each of the following incidences:

Posh Spice
-any iteration of the point pose
-any mention of a little black dress

Sporty Spice
-any mention of Liverpool FC
-any high kick

Scary Spice
-any yelling
-after the line “When I say go, we go,” when Mel says “Go,” down your drink or slam a shot

Ginger Spice
-any use of the term “girl power”
-any time she makes the peace “V”

Baby Spice
-any time you see her sucking on a lollipop

Various
-any celebrity cameo
-each Roger Moore cryptic clue

Good luck.

When I say go, we go!

counter culture FAIL

17 Thursday Dec 2009

Posted by in media whoring, music, television

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So in case you’re not already aware The X Factor ended the other night in Britain, with Joe McElderry crowned this years winner (yay!). Anyway, since the inception of the show, that years winner has pretty much been guaranteed the much-talked about Christmas Number One spot on the UK Singles Chart which has historically been the biggest selling week of the year, and a significant accomplishment for any act.

The Spice Girls, for instance, had three consecutive Christmas Number Ones, a stat that was brought up again and again in tributes to them. Also, remember Love Actually? The Billy Mack storyline is based around the idea of him trying to hit the Christmas Number One. This is a cultural touchstone in the UK that The X Factor has kind of taken the excitement out of by monopolising.

That being said, I’d be lacking if I didn’t point out that this is entirely the doing of the masses. Should Britons at large decide to purchase a better song during the holidays then that song would be the Christmas Number One. Basically, it’s their own damn fault so there’s really little point in complaining about it.

Anyway, this brings us to this year when The X Factor winner, the aforementioned Joe McElderry, is releasing a cover of Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb,” which is actually better than last years song which saw Alexandra Burke covering “Hallelujah.” Ugh. So a campaign has been going this year to get Rage Against The Machine’s “Killing in the Name” to number one via iTunes. This is supposed to prove a point or something. The problem is that Rage Against The Machine are signed to the Sony Music label. THE SAME LABEL AS X FACTOR WINNER JOE MCELDERRY!

What a sodding waste of time. Here is a helpful flow chat showing why this is ridiculous.

SERIOUSLY!!! This is the kind of thing is a marketers dream. I wouldn’t even be that surprised if it had all been manufactured at Sony HQ months ago. It generates publicity like crazy and is essentially a license to print money for Sony Music over the festive season. It’s a big “OK everyone, some idiot picked one of our own songs to spearhead The X Factor backlash campaign, Christmas bonuses are back on!!” Amazing.

And where does poor Lloyd Daniels, my – admittedly rather embarrassing – X Factor crush object fit into all this?

Nowhere actually. Poor Lloyd.

As for runner-up Olly Murs, while I did think Joe deserved to win The X Factor, you couldn’t not feel bad for the adorable Mr. Murs as he sang his heart out on his turn at “The Climb.” Especially when he sang the line “Always gonna be an uphill battle, sometimes I’m gonna have to lose” and you could see he knew he wasn’t going to win the thing. I totally cried with him. THIS IS WHAT REALITY-BASED PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT. Click here to view (Tears at 2:46).

That or laughing at someone else’s embarrassment.

Sidenote. Why do they have to sing the same song? It doesn’t actually do either of them any favours but in this case particularly not Olly. They should each get their own song suited to their talents. That would make the show much better I think.

Oh, also Olly was hot.

And I’m less embarrassed to admit that than with Lloyd.

STEP OFF cheryl cole!

24 Friday Oct 2008

Posted by in music, rant, step off

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ingrate girls aloud member cheryl cole

so i think everyone knows that in general i love girls aloud, and cheryl cole had been my favourite girl. until today. cheryl has done something so unforgivable and disappointing that i’m left bewildered and hurt at how she could be so callous. cheryl cole has insulted the spice girls!

in a recent interview with attitude magazine (the best magazine in the history of time, by the way) cheryl uttered the following: “It annoys me when people say we want to be the new Spice Girls. Hello, we’re Girls Aloud. We’ve lasted longer…” wait! who the do you think you are!? because i’ll tell you who you’re not: THE FUCKING SPICE GIRLS!

cheryl goes on to point out that she ‘recognizes’ what the spice girls did and that “Yes, they had worldwide domination, but they fell out, bitched about each other and went their separate ways.” this girl needs a quick dose of reality. as much as i love the aloud, they’ve sold 5 million albums in 6 years and are only big in the UK. the spice girls sold 55 million albums worldwide and their return last year was a media sensation. someone needs to learn a little respect for the bitches that humped the girl band across the globe and made it possible for acts like girls aloud to even exist. honestly.

respect your elders cheryl cole. also, how dumb was this statement? everyone knows that girls aloud are largely supported by the gays. and the gays love the spice girls. LOVE. the spice girls are like your first love that will never die and while girls aloud may bang out some lovely pop tunes, they will never match the spice. NEVER. bitching about the spice girls not only makes cheryl an ingrate, it also makes her an idiot.