As you may remember I have an old friend named (pseudonym-alert!) Melanie P. While this post is not specifically about her, it was reminiscing about a trip we took together that got me thinking about this. Also, as a quick disclaimer this post might shed my usual ever so slightly sarcasm-tinged-tone and stray into Oprah-hallelu-LOVE YOURSELF territory
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Anyway, I was looking through some old photos the other day and was struck by something – actually it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while now: memories that aren’t brought up as often become less salient over time. This is particularly sad when you experience significant life events with someone that you no longer speak to.
In not reminiscing those moments they fade over time and pass into the ether; hazy, disremembered, forgotten. It’s actually a little sad. I’ve always strived to be very honest with people, the ultimate goal being if I can’t necessarily remain as close with someone, we can remain friendly. Just because a friendship ends up in a different place from whence it began is not a reason you can’t continue to share the brilliant memories you’ve created together. -[MIGHTY OPES ALERT]- I mourn those memories as much as – if not more than – the loss of the friendship.
Memories really are a part of who we are as people and losing them – even passively through lack of reminiscing them – feels like losing a part of yourself in a way. The memories I’m referring to specifically were a part of my formative years discovering the world around me and my place in it – for this reason my worry over losing them is particularly acute.
To conclude this slightly rambling – and in re-reading perhaps unintentionally maudlin – post I have to say that tripping down paths of thought like these only make me appreciate even more the amazing people who populate my life. Straying back into Oprah territory again here, I couldn’t be happier with the people around me. As I get older I come to realize more and more the importance of these people. They really do share your life with you and reflect who are as a person back at you. There’s nothing quite the same as sharing a memory with someone whom you’ve known since you were perhaps a slightly different person, or at a different time in your life. I find it hard to quantify the importance of that, or how reassuring that is. Basically it’s a family that you’ve created for yourself and that’s amazing.