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On the odd occasion that I allow myself to over imbibe beverages of the alcoholic persuasion nothing hits the spot the next morning better than a sports beverage. My go-to drink of choice when my head is spinning and nausea is creeping over me in waves is a blue Powerade. Blue Gatorade will do in a pinch as well, but by and large blue powerade is where it’s at. It’s electrolytes a-kimbo and in combination with vibrant blue hue it brings near instant calm to my shaking, dehydrated – not for lack of trying – body.

There is, however, one problem with blue Powerade, and most – if not all – other sports drinks as a matter of fact. This is the sealing process.

Sports beverages are often equipped with a handy “sports cap” from which you can spray the beverage into your – and presumably the rest of your team’s – mouth. While not a fan of said bottle tops this is not in itself the problem. The problem is that the sports caps have two seals that need to be broken to get at the life-giving liquid within; one atop the sports cap and one – for some reason – under the lid secured to the bottle rim.

WHY?

I don’t think any other types of drinks have this, frankly excessive, method of sealing and I postulate that the reason for double seal is less practical and more marketing. To my way of thinking the only possible explanation for the extra topper is to make the beverage appear more “medicinal” in nature. Like labelling something as a “natural health product” my hypothesis is that the extra lid is intended to make people forget that their glugging sugar water and have them instead imagine their supping 710ml of prescription strength thirst quencher.

I could maybe appreciate the effort in that if I wasn’t dying of thirst and barely grasping the dexterity to skillfully navigate the labyrinth of lids whenever I buy Powerade. Also, I wonder if this really works? If this is a marketing decision then they probably did research into the psychological effects of the extra lid before laying out the cash for it but I would imagine hangovers are a big market for the sports-enhanced beverage sector and that a quick access bottle could be an advantage not unlike easy-lid aspirin for those suffering with arthritis.

Upon reflection this is quite obviously a very first world problem but one that I grapple with nonetheless.

I want to have my Powerade and drink it, too.

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