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So The Real Housewives of Vancouver started the other day. I have mixed emotions. I’m kinda drawn to it because: a. It’s Vancouver-based and I enjoy seeing my city in glorious HD; and b. Mary Zilba, who is one of the five housewives, was my customer at work and is delightful. The show is ridiculous. It’s very loosely termed “reality.” Realistically they take five society woman – who obviously don’t really know eachother from Eve – and put them into situations for them to fight. Mary Zilba is about the only likeable one on the show, she has the kind of Minogue-like naiveté about her. Amahzing. Christina’s alright too, if you can overlook the golddiggery, which actually appears more of a front for the cameras than anything.

The thing I don’t like about this show is not that it’s totally fake – I’m fine with that – it’s that they pretend it’s not fake rather than revelling in the ridiculousness of the situations they create. It’s a common problem with reality shows these days. I quite like Property Brothers but am driven to distraction every episode when without fail one of the potential homeowners comes out with “I don’t really know if I’m up for a renovation.” THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON A SHOW WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS RENOVATIONS?!?!?! Seriously!

It’s like Ru Paul’s Drag Race, – I fucking love Ru Paul’s Drag Race. Drag Race never pretends it is anything but completely ridiculous. From catchphrases like “Don’t fuck it up,” and “Lipsync for your life” to competitions such as which queen can best make a straight man look like a pregnant woman. As noted by former fellon and my – and Ryan and Bobby’s – choice for Season 4’s Miss Congeniality Latrice Royale “Everybody makes mistakes but bitch when you get up you better look sickening.” Latrice speaks the truth. But Sharon Needles better win this bitch.

Parts of Ru Paul’s Drag Race have actually become part of the common vocabulary among my group of friends, particularly “cut to Raven.” Raven was a sickening season two queen who was cruelly robbed of the crown by eventual winner Tyra Sanchez. Anyway, in season 2 nary a humorous moment would pass without a quick cut to Raven saying something enormously cutting in one of those sit-down dialog bits so loved by reality television. She had a gift. And she deserved to win. She was ridiculous and the best kind of bitchy and she had more front that block of fucking houses; in short bitch was sickening.

Back to my main point though, reality tv is at it’s best when not hiding in artifice but revelling in it. Also Ru Paul’s Drag Race is amazing.