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Shocking news friends.

I have a new pet peeve.

It may be hard to believe that I can find something else about other people that annoys me but I have indeed found just such a thing in people who stand close to crosswalk buttons to wait for the light to change when they haven’t actually pressed the button.

I am going to lay some groundwork here to illustrate why this is so annoying.

As a general rule I would say that should you find yourself at a crosswalk with visible buttons it is always the best policy to push the button. Now I know that not all crosswalks require you to press the button at all times of the day but I would argue that should a button be present it is probably just a best practice to be pressing said button in case it is, in fact, a requirement to cross.

Furthermore, if you are choosing to live life literally at the dizzying edge and not press the button you should at least stand well clear of the button vicinity making it clear to people approaching the crosswalk that you most definitely have not pressed the button, thank you very much. Standing close to the button having not pressed it sends a very clear signal that you choose to not only play Russian roulette with your own time, but mine also.

This is of particular annoyance to me because the crosswalk at Pacific and Davie – on my route to work – only changes when someone presses the button and otherwise the light is hideously short and provides an allotment of time so minuscule as to barely have me halfway across the street before changing.

Why would someone stand by the button without having pressed it?

The only answer a reasonable person (myself) could come up with is that such a person is obviously a bastard. End of.

It’s just so awkward to reach around people and try and press the button. It really violates the personal space boundaries one expects in pubic. And the rub is that you don’t know until the light hasn’t changed whether or not the person standing precipitously close to the button is a functioning member of society or a complete and utter bastard.

I am starting to understand New York style public rudeness and may soon adopt “I’m walkin here!” as my own personal mantra as I mow people down to press the button.

That or Get Outta My Way (obviously including hand gestures, see below).