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Working in the service industry the good nature of the human race is often called into question. To be fair, in my job, the scales tip in the right direction more often than not but sometimes you are forced to deal with people that are probably besties with the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or Paris Hilton.

My favourite line uttered by a customer today was “I’m kinda in a hurry.” Followed by that bitchy look.

In the interest of clarity I would like to point out here that I would never expect a customer to wait unduly for any product or service. I do everything in my power to ensure that everyone I serve on a daily basis is dealt with promptly and politely.

That being said, this bitch was just out of line, and not alone in her ridiculous expectation.

The scene: There is a moderate queue of about 5-7 patrons which said bitchy customer duly joins and upon reaching the counter she orders a grande non-fat, extra hot, no foam latte.

STRIKE ONE: Extra hot, no foam beverages implicitly take more time to handcraft as you have to wait for the milk to settle before pouring it.

STRIKE TWO: If you observe a line-up of 5-7 people you cannot magically expect that your beverage will be completed ahead of those requested by the polite and patient people with whom you are in competition for my barista-ing skills.

Anyway, no sooner had Patience paid for her beverage than she uttered those immortal words to me: “I’m kinda in a hurry.”

STRIKE THREE!

IF YOU’RE “KINDA IN A HURRY” WHY DID YOU STOP FOR A COFFEE? AND WHY DID YOU SUBSEQUENTLY WAIT IN LINE TO ORDER THAT COFFEE?

No. Not only are you an idiot, you’re also now getting a decaf latte.

Bitch, please.

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