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As you may already be aware, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in prison today for various fuck ups and idiocy. THIS IS AMAZING! After years of excuses and bullshit someone finally told Lilo to STEP THE FUCK OFF. It’s all excuses excuses excuses with this bitch. It’s like no matter how cute you were in Mean Girls (shout out!) you can’t just run off to Cannes and get completely shitfaced when you have a court appointment. And working with children in Morocco? Who does Lilo think she’s kidding? Unless she knows some underage drug dealers she wasn’t doing any “work” with the children of North Africa.

In case you haven’t already had the pleasure, dlisted has a great run-down of everything including amazing video footage that someone needs to jigger up on Youtube to Girls Aloud’s “Crocodile Tears” which would literally be AMAZING.

The only bit of #TRUTH that Lilo lays down here is when she says regarding her career: “it’s something I’ve worked for my entire life.” Disregarding her loose definition of the word “work,” you know Dina Lohan’s had this bitch working since she was old enough to be off the umbilical cord. In fact, just the other week dlisted (again) had an amazing piece – proving once again that the apple never falls far from the tree – about Dina’s run-in with US-based ice cream purveyor Carvel.

Basically, Carvel gave Lindsay a special VIP card for free ice cream which Dina took control of and started abusing so much that Carvel actually stepped in and STOPPED HER FROM USING IT. Now, corporations don’t want to get involved in high publicity cases like these when they can afford it, so can you imagine how much ice cream Dina must have been stockpiling for them to revoke the card?

After more than six months of numerous and large orders for ice cream, we finally had to cut off the card and take it back.

That sounds like a lot of ice cream to me. And I LOVE THAT DINA CALLED THE POLICE TO HAVE THE CARD RETURNED. You wonder how someone ends up like Lindsay Lohan and you have to look no further than the overly coifed hair of Dina Lohan, the ultimate momager and shirker of responsibility. Going through life as though something is owed to her and nothing is her fault, then raising her children, not only to believe the same, but treating them more like a paycheque than anything. FOR SHAME DINA LOHAN.

Also, as a random sidenote, I was watching Marketplace the other day, which I love, and during an episode regarding the absolute shite that is Herbal Magic – Reader’s Digest version: steer well clear – a woman said that her time with Herbal Magic was “the worst experience of her life.”

Seriously?

This woman, a mother of two, had spent something like $3000 and this was the worst experience of her life?

Honestly, if losing $3000 to a diet company is the worst experience of your life THEN YOU SHOULD THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS THAT YOUR LIFE THUSFAR IS SO F*CKING AMAZING! #TRUTH

I seem to have used far more expletives and CAPS than I had originally intended in this post but I suppise that’s life.

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