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The other day I was walking home and I got caught behind someone who was drenched in Dolce & Gabbana pour homme. In all fairness I was caught downwind from him but I might as well have been on top of him for how strong the scent was. I know it was Dolce & Gabbana pour homme because I myself sported that fragrance back in my first year of university. In fact, I too used to apply it a little too liberally.

The odour immediately took me back to dousing myself in the slightly sweet smell of Stefano and Domenico. Smells are like that for me. A quick whiff of something and my mind is whisked back to particular time or place. But I digress.

This is all a rather meandering build-up to my actual point which is not that I’ve been getting a lot of positive reaction to my current fragrance – which as you can see from above is Lacoste Essential – even though I have. My point is that I have a friend named Zoie who purchased me this fragrance and who I have decided has an olfactory supersense. Zoie has the unique ability to match a scent to someone’s personality.

Listen, it might not be the stuff of superhero comics, but when was the last time someone actually had x-ray vision?

Never, that’s when.

Now at this point you are probably thinking that one fragrance selection does not supersense make, but Zoie also purchased a scent for Jo-Ann – Burburry: The Beat, I believe – and it too perfectly matched its recipients personality. Amazing. Scientists should study Zoie and then maybe one day you’ll be able to walk into some sort of pod-like thing that figures out the perfect fragrance for you.

I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE AND IT IS A SORT OF POD-LIKE THING THAT FIGURES OUT THE PERFECT FRAGRANCE FOR YOU!

You can just imagine overbronzed men with spiky hair and be-rhinestoned jeans walking into the pod-like thing and “Ed Hardy pour douchy homme” coming out of the – for some reason (it’s MY future) – dot matrix style printer.

That is all, except to say EGOISTE!

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