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So I was just at McDonald’s and I asked for a medium orange drink to which the counter girl gave me an odd look.

“Orange juice?” she asked inquisitively as if I were not a native English speaker.

“ORANGE DRINK” I replied somewhat emphatically.

“Hmmm” she replied, “we have fruitopia?”

To which I wanted to reply “JUST GIVE ME A FACKING ORANGE DRINK!”

“LIKE WHEN I WAS 12 AND IT WAS FACKING AMAZING TO HAVE A BIG ORANGE COOLER FULL OF SWEET ORANGE NOTHING TO SUP ON AT SOME FACKING SCHOOL SPORTS DAY OR OTHER. HOW FACKING DARE YOU PRESUME TO STEAL MY CHILDHOOD!”

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I took the fruitopia.

It was not even in the same league as orange drink.

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