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I went to The Roxy the other night to meet up with some friends of mine from Edmonton named Dan and Sharlene. The night was an event in celebration of the amassed accountants – Sharlene included – finishing their schooling or some other such milestone and was actually pretty great. I got rather drunk and danced quite a lot to a cover band, the lead singer of which rather rudely denied mine and Sharlene’s request to have a go with the band’s maracas, but I’m not one to hold a grudge. Either way that’s not really the point of this post.

When I first arrived at the bar there was a rather awful smell that I thought initially was Dan’s breath. Being ever the master of social graces I pulled out a tin of mints, first helping myself and then, as if just observing politeness rules, proffered said mints to the gathered friends at which point – SUCCESS!! – Dan rather gladly took a mint leading me to believe that he was perhaps aware that his breath was a little on the stale side and was happy to have someone around – and some might call this person a hero – with breath mints to save the day.

So problem solved I delve into drinking with a gusto others reserve for running a marathon or swimming the English Channel – let it never be said that I’m not a committed and supportive friend, we were there to fete Sharlene after all. But now I notice that not only is the smell still lingering, but that it’s everywhere. The offensive stench is all around me and actually making me a little nauseous. IT WAS REVOLTING!

I soon deduced that it was the bar itself – having, for some reason, carpeted floors likely to be holding years of beers spills and vomit – attacking my nasal passage. I have honestly never been to a bar that smelled so bad, and I was around for the great Edmonton smoking ban. Remember that? Overnight every bar in Edmonton stank, no longer being able to rely on the nicotine fug to hide years of questionable cleanliness standards. I remember the first night we went to O’Byrne’s after the smoking ban and it reeked of vomit all night. Like that really putrid acidic smell. It was awful. But I digress.

Upon consulting with some work colleagues I was told that this odour is just normal for The Roxy. Gross. It was actually so bad that I could smell it on me all night and the next day, and yes I showered. You know when a smell just gets lodged up your nose. Ugh, I hate that.

Conclusion. Dan: does not have bad breath; Sharlene: passed her classes; The Roxy: fun if you can get past the smell.

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