I was at Costco the other day doing some Christmas shopping and I also purchased myself quite an expensive razor. Having previously utilised what can only be described at the cheapest razor in recorded history this was quite a red letter day indeed. I had decided a while ago that I should perhaps upgrade to a more expensive facial hair removal system for a couple of reasons:
1. Every time I shaved with the aforementioned cheap razor it felt like I was scraping a layer of skin off my face.
2. Perhaps due to (1.) it left me with serious razor burn which meant that I usually took the precaution of shaving in the evening so as not to walk around looking like a burn victim all day.
Previous to the cheap disposable razors I had been using an electric shaver that could at best be described “functional.” AKA it took me half an hour to clear my face of about 75% of my facial scruff.
SIDENOTE: I only discovered two days ago that AKA stands for “also known as.” Sometimes I wonder how I survive life on an everyday basis. I mean, I always knew it was some sort of acronym, just not what it stood for.
Anyway, I had been using the crappy disposable razors for a couple of years despite all the hassle – you know when something is awful but you kind of get used to it and eventually ripping a layer of your facial epidermis every few days just become habitual? So yeah, I was a bit sceptical that an expensive razor could really make a difference.
OH HOLY GOD AND FUCK I WAS WRONG!
I am in love with my new Gillette Fusion razor.
IT IS FIVE BLADES OF PERFECTION!
Who needs five blades you ask?
I FUCKING DO!
Who needs a vibrating, battery operating razor?
ME ME ME!
Seriously, this thing is amazing. First off, the head sort of glides across my face, pivoting into every awkward crevice with the greatest of ease. The five blades effortlessly tackle even the thickest of scruff on my face, decimating what was once a jungle of days old fuzz. Even before you turn on the power, this razor is like some sort of mystical object from beyond the stars and then you flip that little switch and fuck if isn’t like you’ve landed in an alternate universe where shaving is actually pleasurable!
I AM AMAZED!