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My new biggest pet peeve at work is people who try to steal the newspaper. While this has always annoyed me a little, my more recent focus on it stems from an interaction with a customer about two weeks back when he took the paper and then became perturbed when I charged him for it.

“I’m just going to read it” he said.

“It’s a fucking paper! Reading it is the entire value proposition of a newspaper. You fucking read it! Dicksplash!” I said. In my head. In reality I just sort of stared at him blankly not fully comprehending that he was actually making this argument. And yes I charged him.

Seriously, what’s with people just taking papers? A newspaper is not free. A huge amount of work goes into making a newspaper every day and I don’t think $1.50 is a lot of money to spend on it, especially on top of your $4 latte. Actually, this reminds me of a woman who used to come into my store in Edmonton and purchase a latte for herself that totalled over $5 but refused to spend $1 to buy her daughter a kids hot chocolate, instead letting the poor child stand over by the hand-off hoping that the barista would feel pity for the child and give her the drink. Bitch.

Conclusion: it’s a fucking paper. Just pay for it.