beer, billboard, black frog, bluto, cale, captain obvious, cher, coatstealer, cool-ade, drunk, fishermen, halloween, hangover, hangtown mary, jack in the box, jo-ann, kyra sedgewick, landshark, lays limon, market, oyster, pabst blue ribbon, pike place market, poncho, prius, puke, road trip, rock band, sacha, seattle, showbox, shrooms, singles, sodo, sometime around midnight, sonny, space needle, stan helsing, starbucks, supermarket, sushi, tan popo, tequila, toxic airborne event, trevor, trinity
As many of you are no doubt already aware, i spent Hallowe’en weekend in seattle with jo-ann and trevor. The trip started off with a somewhat ill-fated trip to Tan Popo for all-you-can-eat sushi. The sushi and assorted Japanese foods were fantastic, my ill-fated remark refers rather to Trevor’s stomach and his need to share it’s relative fullness for the rest of the night via assorted grunts and groans which Jo-ann and I only put up with because we were both well-sauced by this point.
The next morning it was up and out (at least in theory) on our way to Seattle. Trevor and Jo-ann had rented a fantastic grey Prius for our little road trip south of the border and somewhat predictably I now want one – in all fairness so does Jo-ann. Anyway, the road trip was lovely and we soon arrived at the home of Cale and Sacha. Needless to say, drinking ensued. That night we were off to Showbox SoDo – which was a wicked venue, like a big old warehouse, making me feel very much like i was Kyra Sedgewick in the movie ‘Singles’ – to see The Airborne Toxic Event who were brilliant. We did shots of tequila and drank supercans of PBR all night and it was amazing. (BTW, my favourite song by The Airborne Toxic Event is Sometime Around Midnight – click to see the video)
The next day was largely a hangover day and we sort of hung around the house acclimatising to the surprising warmth of Seattle. Later Trevor and I ventured out to the supermarket unsupervised which proved somewhat disastrous as it was not unlike two Id’s who’d left their Ego at home. We came back with over $100 worth of beer, chips, and pop, and beer only costs (!) $10 a case in the states. Any man who can pass a bag of Lay’s Limon or a six-pack of Land Shark Lager is a stronger man than I.
That night we stayed in and watched some terrible hallowe’en fare. The best of the three movies we watched was called ‘Shrooms’ and it was about some supposed friends who flew from America to Ireland on holiday to take mushrooms. I say supposed friends because very early into the film we found ourselves wondering why people who hated eachother as much as this bunch did would waste a thousand-ish dollars flying across the atlantic to spend a holiday together. Furthermore, are there no drugs in America? Who flies to Ireland to take mushrooms? Is this some sort of trend I don’t know about? Is this what all the kids are doing these days? Needless to say all but one of the “friends” ended up dead and the killer, after getting away with all the murders, escaped, for some reason, into the forest. It actually wasn’t a terrible movie apart from these and maybe a few more plot holes. We also watched ‘Stan Helsing’ which was just plain fucked up.
The next day it was time for some sightseeing in downtown Seattle starting with Pike Place Market. We stopped in for a Starbucks, Jo-ann had a thing for the fishermen, and Trevor, for some reason, drank a Hangtown Mary which included a raw oyster dangling nausea-inducingly from a cocktail pick. Later, despite protest from Jo-ann, we ascended the Space Needle which was actually properly amazing. It’s not right in the downtown core so you have a view of that, Puget Sound, and the whole surrounding area. Also, you can walk outside right the way around which is really cool; we had a drink up there and all loved it.
Later, we all kitted up and proceeded to get our drink on. After some initial indecision Sacha decided on Dorothy over Lederhosen, Cale topped his outfit up with a mustache, and I affixed my Cher wig and slipped into my poncho. Upon leaving the house Trevor was already quite drunk, rather foreshadowing the events that later transpired, but at this point each of us were blissfully unaware of anyone’s drunkenness but our own.
After arriving at Showbox at the Market – again, amazing – we got stamps on our wrists and proceeded to enjoy the party-time sounds of Seattle’s very own Cool-Ade. It was a brilliant party and then all of a sudden Cale came up to the rest of us and said that Trevor had been kicked out for being too drunk. After some initial disappointment Cale hatched the rather masterful plan of re-dressing Trevor in some extra bits and pieces, including my poncho and wig (I was also wearing a fantastic psychedelic shirt). So Cale painstakingly removes the Fred Flintstone costume from the now balance-challenged Trevor and replaces it with the wig and poncho. Only after he is fully re-dressed does Trevor point out the big black X that is drawn over the entry stamp on his wrist, precluding him from returning at all.
After a fall in the parking lot and the poncho moving again from Trevor, back to me, and then to Sacha, we’re now on our way home and out of downtown Seattle having only arrived an hour previous. All is going swimmingly again until we’re speeding down the freeway and Trevor decides to open his door to vomit. Only we’re going 65 MPH. And he’s not wearing his seatbelt. So a bit of shitstorm unleashes in the car and Jo-ann and I are trying to hold onto Trevor as his relieves his turbulent stomach onto the busy road (and a little bit onto the car door).
Now, just as we’re trying to find our way back onto the freeway after diverging in order to let Trevor finish up what do we see but A LANDSHARK BILLBOARD! Realizing that this is indeed a stupendous moment Sacha pulls the car to a hault and Cale and I dance a jig beneath it as Jo-ann tries capture the moment on film rather unsuccessfully.
Upon arriving home Trevor headed straight for bed and despite thinking it was a good idea to drug him awake – we failed – the night died down after that. Needless to say Trevor woke up with the mater and pater of all hangovers and we hit the road home.
En route we stopped to get Jack In The Box which was BRILLIANT, Jo-ann decided she needed to try every flavour of vitamin water, and Trevor usurped a coat that I liked at the outlet mall for his own – coatstealer. Finally, the next day we had lunch at the Black Frog before Jo-ann and Trevor had to head back to their real lives in the Big Onion. It was a fabulous trip.
A few things I learned:
1. Trevor’s new nickname is Captain Obvious as he has an uncanny ability for vocalising the obvious.
2. Showbox is fantastic. Go there if you’re in Seattle.
3. Ditto, the Space Needle, it’s surprisingly good.
4. Avoid Trinity night club at all costs. It was aweful and an event transpired as confusing as it was angering.
5. I am quite good at the playing the drums in Rock Band.
6. Do not show Trevor a coat you like at an outlet mall.
7. Lay’s Limon are amazing. (Why do we not have them in Canada?)
8. Jo-ann and I are quite good at swaying a la Sonny and Cher, or at least we seemed to be after a few drinks.
9. Bluto may be the best name ever in the history of horror films.
10. Do not go to Ireland to take shrooms.