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so i’ve been a bit busy over the past few days preparing for and then actually going out for st. patrick’s day, followed by the subsequent hangover day and further subsequent ‘oh shit i have a bunch of schoolwork that still needs doing’ day. now i’m finally caught up myself i can get blaught up.

so last saturday i decided to ignore my better judgement and hit the mall (west ed) in an effort to find the perfect green shirt to wear on st. patrick’s day. i hate going to the mall on saturdays but it was the only day that i really had free to shop. so i gird myself on the bus and then as i arrive to a packed mall on saturday afternoon i immediately notice – to my horror – that there are cheerleaders everywhere. WTF! as i wander in to the mall i quickly realize that there is some sort of cheerleading event taking place on the ice rink and i right the urge to run back to the bus stop there and then.

ok, so now i’m controlling run away while trying to traverse the absolutly packed mall. rage is bubblng up inside me but i’m mainting control by looking at fabulous expensive things: turquoise and white lacoste runners in town shoes, a new iMac at the apple store etc. realizing the need for a game plan in this most chaotic of locales i decide to hit club monaco – on the off chance that i can afford a simple and well-tailored green shirt – and h&m – cheap – immediatly as my best chance of departing the mall in timely fashion.

first stop club monaco. immediately my stress levels rachet down a few notches in the calm oasis of moderately expensive goods. there are no bitchy teens in sight, almost like there is a some sort of sensor near the entrance that turns away anyone with a predilection for miley cyrus or high school musical. i’m already enjoying the ambience when ‘love is the key’ by girls aloud pumps out of the stereo to elevate my mood to near bliss. it is that this piont – with me floating on a girls aloud induced cloud – that i find a table of sale shirts marked down from 99 to 29 dollars – ALL GREEN. i am at this point wondering if i’m trapped in some wonderful dream but i quickly dash that and grab a few shirts to try. not only are the sales staff lovely and helpful in getting me changeroom but as i am changing another girls aloud song floats down from the stereo system – as if from heaven – this time ‘the promise.’

armed with two of the three shirts – one for st. paddy’s day, another for working – i head for the cashier who complements my dress sense and with whom i have a rather engaging conversation about music and how fabulous i look in bold patterns. i only wish there was someway to bypass the whole mall in my exit from club monaco as i then had to traverse the cesspits of west ed hell after my retail nirvana at the club. it was almost as if the universe was making up for the shitty mall conditions.

conclusion: west ed is the shits, club monaco is perfection, and i was now armed with a fabulous green shirt for st. patrick’s day which was, at this point, fast approaching.