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jo-ann

i have to say that i really enjoyed my non-celebrity news post despite what happened to it so i might try and integrate it every now and then. LIKE NOW!

1. jo-ann: ‘i’m newsworthy!’
jo-ann was a little perturbed that she wasn’t mentioned in the last round of non-celebrity news. also we had a fabulous lunch the other day at the new earl’s on campus where they have these ridiculous gold chains at the entrance. it’s like a drag queen’s s+m dungeon and you know they’re going to be super dated in less than six months. restaurants should really stick to timeless style options so that they can remain current. trying too hard to remain current is exactly why a lot of restaurants look dated so quickly. but i digress.

2. mother nature: ‘bitch please it’s not spring yet’
it’s fucking freezing again today and i can just imagine mother nature being all ‘mm hm, that’s right, it’s still winter bitches!’ spiteful cow.

3. salloum in health scare.
jessica has an ulcer. it sucks but you know she’s going to totally use it whenever she is feeling slightly ill. for instance i saw to her today and she was all ‘ooh, my ulcer’ when she hadn’t even known about it yesterday. although i do have to say that once you know about something it’s easier to think that you’re having symptoms. hmm…

4. gary and salloum: ‘apologize to alec baldwin’
so salloum and i have decided to write a self-help book called ‘love yourself’ after we spent far too long in chapters looking at the volume of ridiculous self-help books on offer. as a sidenote, highlights included ‘why men marry bitches,’ ‘don’t be THAT girl,’ and ‘manslations.’ the latter of which manslated ‘i’m just out of a relationship and not ready to settle down’ into ‘i’m not lonely enough to want to date you.’ BURN. anyway, we saw alec baldwin’s self-help book (WTF?) and decided ours should have the same cover. for some reason we both thought he was leaning on his fist in the picture so we decided to lean on eachothers fists in the picture, making an attempt at said pose for photographs the other night at the bar. anyway to wrap up this now rather meandering story i was at chapters the other day (incidentally while waiting to meet jo-ann for the aforementioned lunch at earl’s) and i noticed that alec baldwin’s hands are not even in the picture of him on the cover. he’s leaning in rather oddly but his fist is no where to be seen! strange.

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