2009, aaron eckhart, amanda seyfried, america ferrera, amy poehler, awards, beyonce, billy ray cyrus, blake lively, brooke burke, colin farrell, diddy, drew barrymore, dustin hoffman, eva mendes, gay, golden globe, heath ledger, hollywood, jennifer lopez, jeremy piven, jonas brothers, kate winslet, keely shaye smith, leonardo dicaprio, maggie gyllenhaal, marissa tomei, mark wahlberg, miley cyrus, nancy o'dell, pierce brosnan, rachel griffiths, rainn wilson, rosie perez, salma hayek, sean combs, sigourney weaver, steve carrell, steven spielberg, sting, tiki barber, tina fey, tom cruise, tom wilkinson, trudy styler, vanessa hudgens, zac efron
17.01: what the hell happened to nancy o’dell? she looks like beige exploded all over her.
17.02: at least 2/3 of the jonas brothers are gay.
17.04: rainn wilson: not that funny in real life.
17.05: miley cyrus. best original song. bitch, please! but she looks annoyingly good. finding it hard to hate her with the requisite amount of vitriol.
17.06: oh wait, there’s billy ray. bile is rising and all is normal in the world again.
17.07: who the fuck is tiki barber?
17.08: america ferrera, a little underwhelming. wait, just zoomed out and caught the bottom of the dress. IT’S FANTASTIC. still loving her.
17.10: aaron eckhart always looks the same. ALWAYS.
17.11: sean ‘diddy’ combs is a douche. also he has the same mouth as miley cyrus. like their teeth are too big for their mouths.
17.12: amanda seyfried. more beige. her eyes are also really far apart. seems really nice though.
17.13: is it wrong to find steve carrell with a beard hot?
17.14: they keep cutting to shots of kate winslet not really doing anything but looking amazing AS ALWAYS.
17.15: is eva mendes high? girlfriend also needs a better stylist but in fairness everyone looks good next to nancy o’dell.
17.21: blake lively’s dress looks like someone vomited jewels down their own chest.
17.22: rachel griffiths is looking a little crazy in gold. i love her.
17.23: sigourney weaver is hulking over nancy o’dell and beyonce who’s wearing quite a nice grey dress with good hair but a necklace that’s far too large. i don’t think sigourney weaver appreciated being asked about tina fey while being interviewed with beyonce. like she’s not interesting enough to warrant her own question. i wish beyonce would have come as sasha fierce.
17.27: maggie gyllenhaal. FIERCE. they’re asking everyone about heath ledger and the dark knight. starting to get a bit annoying. maggie’s ear rings are CRAZY. she’s friends with kate winslet. love it. people are yelling ‘miley’ in the background. very annoying.
17.28: vanessa hudgens has no personality and zac efron attempted a beard that is beyond anemic. i like how nancy o’dell had to state ‘you guys are a couple’ and asked them what they do to which zac efron replied ‘normal things.’
17.30: drew barrymore’s hair is out of control.
17.31: jeremy piven’s eyes are crazy bloodshot and mark wahlberg’s hair makes him look 80. i think mark wahlberg just mocked the piv’s ‘mercury poisoning.’
17.33: dustin hoffman’s wife looks about half his age.
17.34: colin farrell = sex on legs.
17.37: colin farrell is very smiley and chewing gum. he’s also sniffing a little. now he’s feeling his jaw. hmm… i still would.
17.38: amy poehler looks killer. i love tina fey but she’s looking a little 1980’s. why are they interviewing them with steven spielberg?
17.40: kate winslet finally in an interview. she looks FLAWLESS. i’m still not keen on leonardo dicaprio.
17.42: they just cut to a shot of j.lo posing by sticking her ass out and looking coquettishly over her shoulder at the assembled press phalanx. love the ridiculousness of hollywood.
17.45: tom cruise is always wearing the same suit now. he’s very skinny. and SO BORING.
17.47: nancy o’dell just congratulated sting on his nomination only to have him tell her that he’s only a presenter tonight. burn. kind of love trudy styler. some random security guy just wandered into the shot.
17.48: marissa tomei. i don’t know why but i always get her confused with rosie perez. marissa totally just wandered out of the interview to hug tom wilkinson. burn brooke burke.
17.49: they just froze the shot on eva mendes with her eyes closed for some reason.
17.53: pierce brosnan’s wife keely’s boobs are OUT OF CONTROL. they’re rushing everyone in now.
17.54: salma hayek looks fierce but there’s some trashy publicist in the background yanking up her dress over her boobs. all class.