as a quick sidenote i haven’t posted in a few days mainly because i had the mater and pater of all bastard buggery bollocksy final exams. my corporate finance class is finally over and i am starting to sympathize with the likes of kenneth lay. if he had to deal with any level of this shit no wonder he stole like winona ryder at a poorly supervised old navy.
so yes i’m unbalanced. not in like a psychological way, but in the way that i find it challenging to stay vertical for an entire day, especially in the winter. sometimes i even find myself falling into walls. like from nowhere, i’m just swaying into the closest standing object which is usually, thankfully i suppose, a wall. my balance is atrocious, it’s quite embarrassing. winter is the worst though, i invariably fall on my ass multiple times which is obviously mortifying. actually, the other day on the bus my feet slid out from under me when i was trying to get up and even though i didn’t actually fall down i burst out laughing and then everyone around me just stared awkwardly. bastards.
one time i fell down on my way to work – like totally bit it and slammed into the ground – and this rather attractive man was suddenly standing over me asking how i was and NOT LAUGHING. i wanted to say ‘marry me’ but all i could muster was ‘fine, thanks.’ seriously though, a man who doesn’t laugh at me when i fall over? although i suppose he could be very boring with no sense of humour… but at the time i was smitten.
the reason this all came to mind is that i was downtown tonight (at metro cinema with my friend salloum) and i ended up having to run for the bus. i say ‘run’ but a so-called friend of mine once rather kindly described my winter walking as penguin-like, so i suppose it was probably more like a scurry (or even less flatteringly, a waddle). all i could think was ‘please fuck don’t let me fall’ as i tried to move as fast as i could toward the beckoning warmth and joviality of public transit. anyway, hurrah, i didn’t fall!
every day in the winter that i don’t fall is a blessing for which i’m eternally greatful.